I can’t count the times I’ve said something like “I should write a book…” about this or that but mostly about being me living my life with my man. I know, sounds boring. No one wants to hear about you and your happy life {insert eyeroll here}. What most don’t know is that my man has been a juvenile diabetic since the age of three. What you see me posting on social media has always lacked the messy back end of our life.

While I know the story has merit and I have no doubt it could be really helpful to other people living through some of the struggles we have dealt with and continue to deal with, I seriously lacked the confidence to be the one to bring that story to life. My husband has always championed me and believed I can do anything I set my mind to and I say I believe that too but I really don’t or didn’t… until recently.

I happened upon a particular self-help book completely by accident (that’s a story and book review for another post) but the bottom line, she said something that hit me like a Mack Truck. The gist of it was you are the best you and if you are your authentic you it will come through. Basically stop comparing yourself to others that do what you do or want to do. You can not do what they do and you don’t want to. You need to do you. This is was a really big one for me. I’m not what I refer to as a “classically trained reader” and therefore I am not going to write as eloquently as someone like that might. I thought if I couldn’t write like that, if I couldn’t wordsmith with the best of them then I had no business writing at all.  This Mack Truck moment made me start thinking about what I like to read. I enjoy reading a more casual style than, say, something you’d pick apart in an English Lit class. If I like to read that style then why can’t I write like in the style with which I am comfortable. Why can’t I be my authentic self and trust in me to deliver? Why must I fit some mold of how I think others think I should write.

Something else within this self-help lesson was the simple thought that if you’re not embarrassed, at least a little, by your first effort down the path you’re on you’re not doing it right. You can’t start at the top. This was another Mack Truck concept for me. I’ve, right here on this domain, published posts that have made me embarrassed (aka self-doubted myself) to the point of not wanting to share it and therefore fizzling out and leaving it in the dust for a few years. At one point I planned to dump it all together but I missed the deadline and the domain auto renewed. I’ll pretend that was divine intervention at play. I’m not going to go back, judge and delete any of it. Let them, this and probably some of my future post be my not starting at the top moments that I can look back at and think, look how far you’ve come on this journey you awesome gal you.

It’s my goal here to share funny stories, trials and tribulations of the process I’m going through to get back to and deliver my authentic self. In doing so I’ll start my passion project regarding my husband’s diabetes and how we (mostly me) cope. There are plenty of books about being a diabetic and doctors with whom you can talk if you’re the diabetic or if this support roll is all new to you but there is a serious lack of resources for those of us in the support role for the long haul. If I can help just one person along the way… heck, if I can just make one person bust out laughing because they can soooo relate then I’ve delivered on my passion.

And let me clarify. If you’re thinking I’m not, nor do I know any diabetics so this doesn’t pertain to me at all. Never fear. That stuff is for the book. I’m here sharing the process of getting the darn thing written. My husband’s diabetes is only one small piece of the pie that makes up my life, albeit a very significant and life altering piece. Besides, I don’t care who you are. Some of the stuff that happens when a diabetic’s blood sugar is really low is down right hilarious in spite of it’s serious nature..