Things My Husband Says #theGilbertconnection

Background: We’re empty nesters. We now have to entertain our own selves yet we don’t like the same tv shows or basically any of the same things. We do, however, drink a little. We don’t like to drive if we’ve been drinking, even in small amounts. Ok, we don’t really know the meaning of small doses. We like being alive too much to drink and drive. We’re too cheep to pay for a DUI . Take your pick. The point is we have a lot of time at home, just the two of us and our liquor cabinet, and our 3 dogs plus one psycho cat. Soooo… we listen to a lot of Pandora cranked up while enjoying a few coctails in the evenings. We’ve added a competitive level to our listening by trying to name that artist before the one can.

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A song comes on. I’m feeling the knowledge. I can get this one. The wheels are turning in my head. The mumbling of my random thoughts are putting it together. My fingers are tapping each other like I’ve just figured out the plot to take over the world. I’ve got it and I announced the artist. This is what followed:

Him:  How you got there I’ll never know. (knowing something crazy just went down in my brain)

Me: Brantley Gilbert – Little House On The Prairie – Laura Ingles – Melissa Gilbert – Gilbert – Brantley Gilbert – duh!

Laura's happyarrow-clip-art-othersBrantley_Gilbert_2013

Things My Husband Says #fingerpokerthings

Me (text to him while he was out of town)…

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When he got home: “Finger poker things? OMG”

*Background: 1)We hate grocery shopping so much that we have decided we should both suffer rather than one or the other enduring this torture alone. I was being super awesome and doing the grocery shopping myself while he was out of town hence the “no good deed” reference and 2) Finger poker things is not the technical term but it might as well be. I can’t seem to ever recall what they should be called and have been using this term for 25+ years now. They are for checking one’s blood sugar.

**Note: Um, wtf? I’m out solving the world’s problems aka grocery shopping and fixing a broken vehicle and he’s drinking beer???

***Follow up report: This was about a week ago and we’ve eaten the aforementioned food. We survived.

****Note 2: Aforementioned is all one word? Who knew? Learn something new every day!!