When you find yourself regularly screaming “Fuck you – you be more active bitch” to your phone it might be time to disable your activity app. I have a Samsung Galaxy which comes preloaded with S Health. At some point I probably set it up to track my activity since my husband has the same phone and doesn’t get this crap. If my phone notifies me one more time to “be more active” or one of it’s other attempts at getting me to move more I’m going go all Office Space on that bitch.

 

The other day I’d been in freak-out-over-looming-guests-mode (aka cleaning like a maniac because company was coming to stay for the holidays and I can’t just shove things behind a door and close it like I can for dinner guests). Anyhoo, idk like 3 hours of running from one end of the house to the other dusting, scrubbing, sweeping, moping, laundering and then I started to wash a few dishes. My phone bleeped and before getting my hands wet I thought I’ll give it a quick check to see what that was so I can wash dishes in peace. And there it was. That bitch had the nerve to tell me to “be more active”. Seriously? I mean I had the upbeat music cranking and the heart rate was definitely not in sedated/couch potato mode. That bitch has done this to me too ma
ny times. I think she’s trying to be motivational but I just want her dead.  I mean like if I could pull her out of the phone and beat her with a big stick I soooooo would. But then again that bitch would probably just tell me I needed to do more, swing harder, be more ferocious, or some shit.

Bottom line: I must find and destroy this app before she destroys what’s left of my self esteem!!!